In the earlier days of the Newf list, when I read about this kind of story, it was usually “someone else’s” Newf, with sometimes much more expensive items, and it rallied an annual calendar: Newfs Gone Bad. And perhaps it inspired a bank commercial of a Newf in a shredded sofa.
I had an appointment in town, along with some errands to run, and out we set, the girls and I. The plan was that when we returned, we would go to the office and finish some work. Upon loading the girls to leave, I noticed that something had caught Jade’s attention. She was lying quietly, oriented in the direction of a stack of boxes on the back steps. This is a form of body language, and I understood her wishes. I’m sure the boxes had already been inspected, and she seemed to surmise that those were not for her. (Note to self: have shipments delivered to the office next time.) Good girl. She loves to open boxes, and I hadn’t noticed this stack, left by the UPS guy.
I didn’t have time to move the boxes before we left, and when we got back, it was starting to rain, so we went to the house to move the boxes and pick up the mail. It was already 4:30, so not much office time was left. I had developed a longing for a pot of chili while we were out, so one of the stops was for the extra ingredients, some beans, tomato sauce, crackers and a new bottle of chili powder. There was a box in the mail, also, three packages of ornamental bronze push-pins. Those work well when all of your walls are wood and you need to hang a calendar, for example, and with delight, I had found some dark bronze ones that fit the rest of the dark bronze things like lighting fixtures.
After moving the boxes, I allowed myself to get caught up in a perusal of the new Newf Tide. Oh my! This is an exceptional issue! Great photos (this is the photo contest issue) – an issue full of joy and tears, and show results. When I get a Newf Tide, the world stands still for a moment, or so I’m fond of thinking. In reality, a bored young girl and a party-hopeful big girl were stirring up their own party, behind my very eyes. I barely noticed the rumble in the background, as the girls “played” – by getting into the box with packages of pins, opening two of the packages and scattering those around. They didn’t touch the box of Town House crackers. I don’t know who started what, although it is the big girl who has a knack for daring someone else to get naughty and the little girl who has a “can-do” attitude and “goes on a tear” from time to time, but “someone” found a can of chili beans. In the many years I’ve been living with and learning about Newfs, I have never seen one swipe a new can of anything and puncture it. Perhaps they were playing “football” with the can, not realizing there was good stuff inside until someone punctured the can. This can, by appearances, had been carefully selected, and the rest of the bag’s contents were intact.
I carefully counted the pins as I picked those up and put them in my pocket. When I took them out again, I recounted – one was missing! Did I miscount the first time? Did it come out of my pocket when I pulled my gloves out?
Those things (Newf Tides) should come with a warning label! (and perhaps a human should put boxes that aren’t for Newfs behind closed doors until the contents are stored, and put groceries away before looking at the mail!)
