11/17/11
(In remembrance series)
First, I don’t really think that I have a “worried mother” personality. In Parker’s case, I think he has a remarkable ability to reach hard-wiring receptors in me, though. For one thing, he can make sounds that penetrate like electrical voltage. It’s more than that, though. When something seems wrong, it triggers my worry response in a very non-voluntary way.
For several days before the last show, I noticed that he wasn’t sleeping much. I would wake up during the night and he would be already awake. He does this from excitement, like before a camping trip or before Christmas or sometimes when it is snowing, when he knows that something good is in store. I had been talking with him about the upcoming dog show, but even knowing that, my worry process had spun into full gear. He is getting older. Does this affect his sleep? His energy is good, maybe he doesn’t need as much sleep. Don’t women begin having trouble sleeping when they reach this age? Is it just me, am I the one who’s not sleeping well enough? I usually sleep soundly when all is well. Is something wrong with Parker?
When he was younger, my worries had some justification based on his choices, which stemmed from exuberance and a no-holds-barred approach to life. Now that he’s approaching 10, it’s easy to worry again. Geesh! No wonder I’m getting grey hair.
Well, the show is over, and he’s settling back into a routine. He’s past the blues stage. Normal is sleeping so soundly that he has no awareness of what’s going on around him, and sleeping to normal morning hours, and taking a solid nap after breakfast. He’s beginning to sleep more normally again, and funny thing, so am I.
My brother, who is now a grandfather, once looked at my dogs and remarked, “At least kids grow up.” I said, “Yes, 20 years later!” I wonder if I have less grey hair than a parent who has gone through teenager-hood. <g>
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