APPLE PIE: HOW MANY APPLES DOES IT TAKE?

This is a trick question, so think before you answer:

 

It depends on these circumstances:

1.       Is it a deep dish pie (crust)?
2.       How many Newfs are in the house?
3.       Does your grocery store purchase old inventory to price-compete?

 This is the math:

              Deep dish pie pan = 6 apples
              Add a minimum of one apple per Newf
              Allow for apple source and storage time in the refrigerator, so increase apples by 2

There won’t be leftover apples.  Wash, rinse well, core, trim any bad spots (to decrease patulin) and slice.  If Newf is at your elbow, core another for every 2 Newfs, cut in half and reward Newfs, who will be back as this is called rewards-based training.  Line the pie shell with the apple slices.  Look up the Granny’s Apple Pie recipe and discard most of what you read.  First, use Jonathan instead of Granny Smith apples.  Next, definitely use LOL unsalted butter, but don’t melt the butter.  Cut slices and distribute across the top of the pie.  It will melt without your assistance later.  Pull out a two-cup Pyrex measuring cup, add two heaping tablespoons of organic all-purpose flour.  Measure the brown sugar and the white sugar like Dad made coffee:  Scoop until you’ve met your goal, then add a little extra.  Mix the dry ingredients in the Pyrex measuring cup.  Don’t be afraid to add a little salt if you aren’t on restrictions. Do some jungle gymnastics to get across two Newfs lying between the kitchen and hallway to get your cell phone.  Return in reverse choreography.  Call spouse who is running shopping errands (for more pumpkin since that had only a few months remaining on its 2 or 3 year shelf life, for more Carnation milk since the two cans you bought were precisely 2 weeks and 6 weeks past their Best By date, and wine since that last bottle didn’t last long enough) and ask him to bring more brown sugar.  Now read the directions:  425 for about 15 mins., then 350 for another 45+ minutes.  Close enough.  Remember to put foil on the rack below the pie pan this time.  Set the timer for 15 mins. or wait for the smell, then lower the oven temperature.  Don’t forget to set a timer at this point.  (Most critical step.)

Ahh, how wonderful the house smells when there is an apple pie in the oven!  Maybe it will replace the lingering smell of burned pot roast, my kitchen adventure while Greg was in Colorado last week.  ; )

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WHAT TO BE THANKFUL FOR, AND WISHES FOR CHRISTMAS

Kansas is a “free range” state, so loose livestock is a driver-beware circumstance.  In Missouri, the liability is that of the livestock owner.  Perhaps, having been raised in Missouri and with Dad’s coaching, my seemingly innate focus and concern is that animals should be secured from the risk of harm.  This applies, in my view, to dogs and cats as well as farm animals.  There are many busy roads, and there are many drivers hurrying to their destinations.  Yet there are many open yards where kids, dogs and other animals play and roam.

When stray dogs in need of basic care show up, it is usually in the fall.  This year, there were two who crossed our path.  One was running loose in an area on the outskirts of town, a large, young intact male.  He was, as is usual for loose dogs, a mixed breed, but in that mix was Newfoundland, and that part of his personality was easy to recognize.  He was very warm-natured and playful, a dog who genuinely and quickly warmed your heart.  We decided to take him home, but even though he was very friendly, he was wary.  It was clear that people had tried to trap or catch him.  After a few hours, I was able to slip a leash over his head.  He was terrified, probably as much for being caught as for never having been on a leash.  After a couple of rounds he settled down and we were able to get him into a crate.  We put him in a 6 foot chain link exercise pen that had a barrier to digging at the base.  He was happy as long as we were with him or nearby, but this boy would cry like his heart was broken when we were out of his sight.  He was so driven to finding his home, his dog-bud or his family, that he didn’t stop trying to escape.  Whether he had been abandoned following a move or dropped, he was one of those who had been watching enthusiastically for each passing car, hopeful that one was “his” and would be stopping for him.  One issue for the relationship between humans and dogs is that many humans don’t understand the capacity for emotional intelligence and loyalty that is natural for a dog.

The next one was a female puppy, a pit bull mix, with ribs sticking out.  She was so much in need that she actually pled for help and approached us near the barn.  She was covered in ticks, and no doubt fleas as well.  We drove to town for the low dose form of Capstar, and we gave her wormer and a flea treatment as well as food, water and shelter.  Upon holding her to give her the flea treatment, we could see that she was covered in ticks and will also need a tick treatment.  We have not yet had her for 24 hours.  She is a very bright, intelligent and loving girl, another one of those dogs who would make life wonderful for people who have the capacity for empathy and enjoy the company of dogs, another one of those whose lives were under-regarded, who was in bad circumstances, but circumstances which are much worse for many others.

Too many dogs are brought home because:

1.  Parents think dogs are good for kids, when the kids aren’t actually interested in spending their time training or caring for a dog.  (Let’s be honest, this level of responsibility is an acquired trait.)
2.  Parents think it would be a good idea for teaching a child responsibility.  (How many parents end up taking care of the dog?)
3.  Children, or a child, begs and pleads for a puppy.  What happens with the dog after that warm, squiggly puppy grows into its adult self?  Who will rear the puppy to behave better than the children?
4.  A human sees a dog and is enamored with the appearance of the dog, or the dog as a puppy, but fails to invest in the time, attention and care needed.  How many times are heavy-coated dogs shaved because the human doesn’t invest the time required for grooming?  (negating the appearance factor that drove them to acquire that breed of dog)  How often are adorable puppies sentenced to the yard, without shelter even in the worst weather, because the owner or the owner’s family is unable or unwilling to actively invest in rearing a puppy from the potty-training and chewing phase to becoming a well-behaved adult?  How many times when a dog comes into a home does it find a good situation, where it is either loved and valued, or at least provided for in terms of food, housing and veterinary care?  Dogs can be good for people, but people have to do their part in order to find the benefit.

In the minds of far too many people, dogs are among the “objects” considered disposable when inconvenient.

This Christmas, I have a request, on behalf of the many dogs in need in your own home area and across the country:  please consider a donation to a charitable organization supporting the needs of these dogs.  A financial donation could be made to the Humane Society of the United States (HSUS) or to the American Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA).  Another option, or an additional option would be 1) to support a responsible rescue organization or your local shelter with a monetary donation, 2) to sponsor an adoption or 3) to donate supplies to help the shelter or the foster people who support the shelter.  Foster people are amazing.  They are the ones on the “front line”, working one-on-one with what can be a daunting challenge, using their time, their resources and their hope to improve the chances for those individual dogs.

Please say a special prayer for those animals in need and those people who spend many kind-hearted hours working in or with shelters or rescue organizations to help them.

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CATS: THE (OFTEN) UNDERESTIMATED COMPANION

When I moved out of state one time, I took my “barn cats” to stay on my parents’ farm.  Cats enjoy their freedom and the familiarity of home, and they don’t always relocate well, but one of the cats, Tigger, became buds with my dad.  When Dad would walk around the farm, Tigger accompanied him.  We’ve had cats at this farm who do this, usually the males.

I think Jade envied the cats’ freedom here. She seemed to want “cat privileges”; it was always a struggle to get her to come back inside when the weather was cool enough.  She and Sylvia are snuggle bunnies, unless or until Banner emerges.  Then Sylvia engages her warp drive to reach safer quarters.

This morning as I was driving through town, I noticed a very small dog walking calmly just in front of a baby stroller and slightly to one side.  The lady pushing the stroller was trailed by a young girl.  This “dog” didn’t walk with usual dog posture, or disregard the human to inspect scents, and it moved with a certain grace.  As I got closer, it was clear that the companion who was enjoying a stroll with its humans was a lovely dark grey cat.  I had automatically slowed to watch and one of those smiles that I see on the faces of people who see us walking the Newfs came over my own face, and the lady smiled back.  It’s one thing to realize that you give other people joy and to be happy about that, but it is very nice to experience it too.

Happy weekend to all.

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THE OLD MAN IN THE TREE

Written 9/14/16

You know how those artists who carve weathered faces from pieces of wood say that they have to “find” the character in the wood?  I’m paying the penalty for 7 weeks of not trimming – bathing and combing, but not doing most of the trimming.  My more familiar big girl is somewhere under mounds of coat that could only rival a llama.  There have been a couple of times when I got behind in trimming, but this is longer than before and she is growing “spayed bitch coat” at an unnerving rate.

I have had to approach it much like a lawn in early summer that hasn’t been mowed for two weeks:  a little at a time, and in layers.  I started on her ears, first one ear, then another.  Part of this step-wise approach is related to my temporary limits with combing.  I can’t do too much at once still.  On Sunday, I started taking down the hair on her belly, using curved shears to take off the outer mass and being careful to leave a wide margin from skin.  She has so much coat that using curved shears doesn’t leave cut marks after using the comb.  Oh my!

She had a vet appointment last week, in between ear trimmings.  The vet must have been a little amused, but she didn’t show it.  I’ve been trimming toes and ears, but it seems like the closer she is to shedding, the faster it grows!  Her head between trimmings can look about 15” wide, especially when it is fluffed after a bath.  Now imagine that one side is trimmed.

I took a little off the front of her neck and have a lot more left to trim.  At this rate, she may shed before I finish, or worse, after the upcoming trips in the next two weeks, I’ll have to start over again!

The satisfying part of all this coat/grooming drama with Jade is that once you’ve uncovered the masterpiece, it is reassuring.  In the end, it’s still enjoyable – like the little girl trimming her sister’s hair with school scissors, only with good tools and enough skills now to do a decent job.  ; )

It is now very clear why people are sometimes stopped for “walking a bear on a leash”.  As funny as it sounds, it has happened, along with “bear” sightings posted throughout an area.  Seeing Jade walk from the rear, I realized how easy it was to genuinely make that mistake.  Many Newfs have tails like Banner, where it is up in the air – not gay, just as a “banner”.  Some carry their tails down when they walk, especially as they mature, so from the rear when they are in full coat, it is an easy visual mistake.  My first acquaintance with a Newfoundland was in the 70s, after watching from behind as a lady in the area was walking her “bears” on a leash, calmly sauntering to and fro with each step, as the movement of a bear casually walking across a field.

Hopefully my “bear” will look more like a Newfoundland again by the end of the week.

Posted in A Little Humor, Bathing & Grooming | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment